Divorce can be an incredibly challenging experience in many ways, and it’s vital to prepare accordingly if you face a difficult divorce in Topeka, KS. While it’s essential to know what you should do as you prepare for a long and arduous divorce, you should also know what not to do. Many people make critical mistakes in their divorces that ultimately influence their lives in several ways for years to come, or even permanently. Knowing these common mistakes is the first step in avoiding making them yourself. Review the following list and start developing your own strategy for your Topeka, KS, divorce.
Don’t Rush the Process
Divorce informally begins as soon as you or your spouse decides you no longer wish to remain married. Some couples reach this decision mutually. However, the formal divorce process begins once a divorce petition is filed with the Topeka, KS, family court. Filing your divorce petition initiates a series of legal proceedings, some of which involve tight deadlines and impose strict procedural requirements. Therefore, it’s essential to discuss your divorce with your spouse, if possible, before either of you files your divorce petition.
It does not matter who files the divorce petition. Being the one to file offers no legal advantages, contrary to what many people mistakenly believe about divorce petitions. If you and your spouse can do so, taking time to discuss the various aspects of your divorce before you begin formal legal proceedings can benefit both of you. Even if the two of you have trouble civilly discussing anything, trying to mutually understand one another’s positions as you begin the divorce process can help you prepare for your proceedings more effectively. You can identify the areas of your divorce case that are likely to require the most attention and streamline the divorce process substantially.
Don’t Talk About Your Divorce Publicly
While you will need to notify immediate family and friends about the impending end of your marriage, it is typically best to avoid speaking too much about your upcoming divorce publicly. This is especially true when it comes to social media. It’s fine to passively view your news feeds but refrain from posting anything until your divorce is over. Even seemingly harmless posts and comments can potentially reflect poorly on you as your divorce unfolds, and some posts may even influence the outcome of your case. Remember that anything you post online is potentially accessible to others.
Don’t Pit Your Kids Against Their Other Parent
Unfortunately, many divorcing parents act spitefully during their divorce proceedings, and some even go so far as to try and turn their children against their own parents. Therefore, it’s vital to discuss your divorce with your kids and help them understand the situation as best they can. Unless either parent has displayed clear proof they are an unfit parent, kids should know that their parents’ divorce is not their fault and does not change how much their parents love them.
Attempting to turn your kids against their other parent will almost certainly backfire in a tremendous fashion. If you alienate your children from their other parent for no reason other than spiting the other parent, you are depriving your children of a valuable part of their lives. Moreover, once they discover the truth of the situation, they will resent your actions, which could irreparably harm your relationships with them. Additionally, if you attempt to weaponize your children in your divorce and the judge handling your case discovers this, they will undoubtedly factor your behavior into their final custody and support determination.
Don’t Demand a Trial
Divorce can easily dredge up powerful negative emotions in the divorcing spouses. However, you should not let any negative feelings toward your spouse spur you to make decisions that ultimately work against your own interests. Refusing to compromise and demanding litigation can be just as much of a disservice to your own interests as it is to your spouse’s. Divorce litigation is lengthy, tedious, and demanding. Additionally, no matter how convinced you may be of your standing in your divorce, there is no guarantee that the judge handling your case will see things the same way. As a result, you are likely to end up with a divorce order you did not expect if you insist on settling the matter in court.
Alternative dispute resolution like mediation benefits both you and your spouse. No matter what personal tensions may exist between the two of you, taking advantage of alternative dispute resolution will make the entire divorce process faster and easier for both of you. It’s possible to reach more favorable terms in your divorce as long as you and your spouse agree to try the process. Even if the two of you cannot resolve every issue your divorce entails, alternative dispute resolution can still streamline the process significantly.
Don’t Neglect the Need for Legal Representation
It is technically possible to handle your divorce without a lawyer but doing so is much more challenging than you may expect. You would need to meet very demanding procedural requirements for your case while also managing your day-to-day responsibilities. You could overlook crucial details or unintentionally agree to unfavorable terms that pose problems later in life. Ultimately, having legal counsel you can trust is an invaluable asset in any Topeka, KS, divorce.
Your attorney can help you make informed decisions throughout your case. They can also clarify the Kansas laws and statutes likely to come into play in your divorce. If you are unsure what your divorce process is likely to entail, your legal team can provide support and guidance throughout your proceedings that allow you to approach the divorce process with confidence and reassurance.
If you are preparing to end your marriage in the Topeka, KS, family court system, the right attorney can have a tremendously positive influence on your experience with the process and the results. Contact an experienced Topeka, KS, divorce attorney to discuss your case and secure the legal representation you need in this challenging situation.