Divorce is a challenging, expensive, and often time-consuming process. If you plan on divorcing in Topeka, KS, it is essential to remember that as difficult as your divorce may be, finalizing it may not necessarily mean you will never interact with your ex-spouse again. This is especially true if you are divorcing and have children; if you and your ex have a custody order, you will undoubtedly be part of one another’s lives until your children are legal adults.
While it can be tough to imagine being civil with your spouse after your marriage has broken down irreparably, getting along ultimately serves both of your best interests. This is especially true for divorcing parents. Your efforts to have a good relationship with one another will benefit your children most of all and ultimately reduce the amount of stress you experience in dealing with one another. Consider the following tips for improving your relationship with your ex after a divorce in Topeka, KS.
Be Practical and Reasonable
You mustn’t let your emotions cloud your judgment when it comes to dealing with your ex. Even if they are combative and argumentative, it is always best to do everything you can to keep your cool and focus on what is most important, especially if you and your ex are discussing your children.
Always prioritize your children’s needs when it comes to dealing with your ex. The two of you are likely to disagree about a lot of things after your divorce is final. Even if you do not have children, your divorce order may entail an alimony agreement that requires you to communicate on some level for a time. Maintaining objectivity and keeping your emotions in check will make future dealings with your ex much easier.
Focus on What Is Best for Your Family
Divorce can easily dredge up the worst human emotions in people, but it can also sometimes bring out the best. Your divorce will entail some level of emotional stress, but maintaining a focus on your family’s needs is one of the best ways to overcome this stress. No matter how far along you are in your divorce proceedings, focusing on what is best for your children will make it easier to handle future interactions with your ex.
Consult your attorney during divorce proceedings if you are having trouble remaining objective about your situation. Your attorney should have the experience to help you make more informed decisions, provide guidance for keeping your emotions in check and will ultimately guide you to a more favorable outcome in your divorce case.
Maintain Respectful Communication
If you must interact with your ex after divorce, it is best to do so respectfully. This is especially true if you have children with your ex and must talk with one another about your children’s needs. Your children may have seen the two of you fight before your divorce, and they are probably having a harder time adjusting to this new reality than you and your ex are. Keep this in mind; if you are constantly yelling at one another over the phone about every minor issue that arises; your children will notice this, and it will exacerbate their stress.
If you have any issues concerning child custody or child support, raise them with your ex in a constructive and matter-of-fact manner. Try to compromise during these interactions whenever possible. If you feel that a conversation is taking a bad turn, tell them you can call them back later and give yourself time to cool off before resuming the discussion. If you consistently practice respectful communication with your ex, it will get easier with time.
Always Try to Take the High Road When Things Get Difficult
It is common for ex-spouses to find many reasons to fight even after they have finalized their divorce. Ultimately, if your ex is consistently aggressive and combative toward you, do not try to meet this attitude with like behavior. Instead, focus on maintaining the high ground and do not stoop to the level of shouting matches and spiteful behavior. Doing so will effectively neutralize your ex’s aggression. Once they see this behavior has little effect on you, hopefully they will stop investing so much effort in aggravating you.
Consult an Attorney About Major Issues With Your Ex
No matter what your divorce entails, finalizing it does not mean you will never encounter issues with your ex again. You will likely need to revisit your divorce order in some manner after it is finalized. The family court system of Topeka, KS, provides a modification system that allows you to modify a family court order under certain conditions. Both you and your ex have the right to petition for modification if you have evidence that the existing divorce order is untenable or unreasonable.
If you encounter any type of issue that may warrant modification of your divorce decree, it is vital to consult an attorney as soon as possible. If you are the one who needs to petition for a change to your divorce order, your attorney can guide you. If you must respond to your ex’s petition for modification, your attorney can help you develop the strongest counterargument to their petition if you believe it is unreasonable.
Speak Through Your Attorney
Ultimately, you might find it impossible to have a civil discussion with your spouse during divorce proceedings or with your ex-spouse following the conclusion of your divorce case. In either situation, if you find it too difficult and stressful to speak with your ex directly, have your attorney handle these communications for you. While this will require your attorney to spend more time handling your case, and you may need to return to them for further services once your divorce is over, it is ultimately preferable to repeated arguments and stressful correspondence.
Most divorced people simply want to get on with their lives and move on from their divorces, but this is easier for some people than others. Whatever your divorce may entail, you will have a much easier time getting along with your ex after the fact when you have reliable legal counsel through the divorce process. This will minimize the chance of you needing to return to court at a later date to settle lingering issues or adjust an imbalanced divorce order. You are more likely to reach your best possible outcome in your divorce case when you have legal counsel you can trust to guide you through the process. Consult an experienced Topeka, KS, divorce lawyer as soon as possible if you are concerned about your ability to maintain respectful communication with your ex during and after the divorce.